For many of us, relaxing doesn’t come naturally, especially when life feels demanding, overstimulating, or unpredictable. Even when things appear calm on the outside, the body and mind don’t always follow suit.

Relaxation isn’t just about lounging on the couch or doing nothing. It’s a biological process that helps the body shift out of stress mode and into balance. When that shift doesn’t happen easily, it can affect how we feel emotionally, sleep, think, and even how our bodies function. 

Despite how important that balance is, many people find themselves stuck in “on” mode — mentally alert, physically tense, and unsure how to unwind.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not doing anything wrong. There are real reasons why your body and mind might resist relaxation. In this article, we’ll break down 13 common ones and explore gentle, realistic steps you can take to support a calmer state of being.

Why does relaxation matter?

Stress isn’t always a bad thing. It’s part of the body’s natural defense system, designed to help us respond to challenges. 

When your brain perceives a potential threat (physical or emotional), it activates the sympathetic nervous system, often called the “fight or flight” response. This process involves a cascade of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, temporarily increasing heart rate, heightening alertness, and redirecting energy to help you cope.

That’s helpful in short bursts. However, the body can get stuck in this high-alert state when stress becomes chronic. You might feel wired, restless, easily irritated, or mentally overloaded, even if nothing dramatic is happening. Over time, this can affect your sleep quality, digestion, energy levels, and mood.*

The counterpart to the stress response is the relaxation response, driven by the parasympathetic nervous system. This system helps regulate heart rate, support digestion, promote feelings of safety, and bring the body back to baseline. However, activating this state can be difficult, especially if stress has become your default.

The good news is that awareness can help. When you understand why relaxation feels out of reach, it’s easier to take small steps that nudge your body and mind toward balance again. That’s exactly what we’ll explore next.

Why can’t I relax? 13 potential reasons 

If you’re having trouble relaxing even when trying, we understand how frustrating that can feel. That said, try not to let it stress you out further! Take a breath, grab some water, and be gentle with yourself as you consider what may be causing this block.

We’re here to break down some common reasons people struggle with relaxation and what to do about it.

1. Your environment is overstimulating

It’s easy to underestimate how much your surroundings affect your ability to relax. Harsh lighting, background noise, screens that never stop glowing, and visual clutter can all cue the brain to stay alert. 

Even subtle things, like your phone lighting up every few minutes or a messy bedroom, can add to feelings of tension.

What to do: You don’t need a perfect space to feel calm, just a few small shifts to help transform your headspace. Start by dimming bright lights in the evening, turning off notifications, or clearing one surface in your home. 

Lighting a candle, adding some incense, or switching to a lamp that provides softer lighting can all help. These small shifts send the brain a signal that it’s safe to unwind.

2. You’re over-caffeinated or under-nourished

Caffeine is a stimulant that increases alertness by boosting adrenaline and temporarily blocking adenosine, the brain chemical that helps you feel sleepy. That’s fine in moderation, but too much caffeine, especially later in the day, can leave your nervous system revved up.

Blood sugar also plays a role. When you skip meals or eat high-sugar foods without balance, your energy can spike and crash. These swings can mimic symptoms of restlessness or irritability and make it harder for you to destress.

What to do: Aim for consistent, balanced meals with protein, fiber, and healthy fats. Watch your caffeine intake, especially in the afternoon. If you notice restlessness creeping in, check whether you’ve eaten recently or had a bit too much coffee.

3. You don’t have a wind-down routine

Going straight from working, scrolling, or managing household tasks into bed doesn’t give your brain time to transition. The nervous system needs cues that it’s okay to power down.

What to do: Build a short, consistent wind-down ritual. This might be making herbal tea, stretching for five minutes, or listening to calming music. The key is repetition, as your body starts to associate these activities with safety and rest.

4. You’re constantly multitasking

Multitasking might feel productive, but it often keeps your brain bouncing between unfinished tasks. That constant switching can leave you feeling mentally scattered or fatigued, and it becomes harder for the brain to shift into a slower, more restorative mode.

What to do: Try single-tasking when you can, especially during moments meant for rest. If you’re eating, just eat. If you’re walking, leave your phone in your pocket. 

Even five minutes of focused attention can help recalibrate your nervous system. Scheduling short breaks between tasks can also create natural pause points throughout the day.

5. Your mind is racing

Many people who struggle to relax are mentally restless. You might replay conversations, worry about the future, or feel like your thoughts never slow down. This mental busyness can keep the body tense, even when you’re sitting still.

What to do: Try a grounding technique to gently bring yourself into the present moment. One simple option: notice five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. 

This helps shift your attention away from racing thoughts and back to your senses. You can also try writing down your thoughts in a quick “brain dump” to clear some mental space before bed.

6. You’re carrying emotional tension

Emotional stress can show up as muscle tightness, restlessness, or a sense that you can’t fully exhale. Even if your mind isn’t actively dwelling on anything, your body might still be holding onto past stress or daily overwhelm. These sensations can build up quietly over time, making relaxation feel out of reach.

What to do:Gentle movement like walking, stretching, or yoga can help release stored tension. Deep breathing and supportive conversations with someone you trust can also help you feel seen, heard, and safe enough to let go.

7. You feel like you always have to be productive

For many people, leisure time feels uncomfortable — not because they don’t want it, but because they’ve been conditioned to believe rest needs to be earned. This mindset can make it hard to enjoy downtime without guilt or internal pressure. Constant productivity may feel safer than slowing down, especially in high-achieving environments.

What to do: Reframe rest as essential maintenance, not a reward. Just like your body needs nutrients, it also needs recovery time. Resting now can help improve focus, mood, and energy later, making you feel more resilient when it’s time to engage again.

8. You’ve been in stress mode for too long

If you’ve been under long-term, chronic stress, your body might have adapted to always being “on.” This can rewire your nervous system to stay in a state of hypervigilance, even when threats aren’t present. Over time, relaxation feels foreign, and you might be overrun with anxious thoughts.

What to do: Introduce small parasympathetic signals into your daily routine. Exhale-focused breathing, calming music, natural scents, or simply looking at trees or the sky can gently cue the body to shift out of stress mode and back toward balance.

9. You’re experiencing sleep disturbances

Quality sleep helps regulate stress hormones, energy levels, and emotional wellness. If your rest is disrupted, the body may never fully reset. Inconsistent sleep or difficulty falling asleep can lead to daytime fatigue, irritability, and difficulty relaxing, even when you have time to rest.

What to do: Try to wake up and go to bed at the same time each day, even on weekends. Avoid large meals or heavy stimulation late at night, and reduce screen exposure before bed to support a smoother wind-down. 

A calming herbal tea or soothing CBD gummy can also help shift the body into sleep mode. *

10. Hormonal shifts may be at play

Hormones are key messengers in the body, and when they fluctuate, so does how we feel. Life phases like menstruation, perimenopause, menopause, or thyroid changes can influence mood, energy, and sensitivity to stress.* These shifts can make relaxation harder to access, even if your routine hasn’t changed.

What to do: If you’re noticing persistent changes in your stress response, talk with a healthcare provider. In the meantime, regular movement, balanced meals, and stress-reducing practices may help support overall wellness and internal balance.*

11. You have muscle tension you haven’t addressed

Sometimes, we carry physical tension without realizing it. Clenched jaws, hunched shoulders, or a tight neck can all keep the nervous system in a low-level state of alert. Over time, these patterns become habitual, making it harder to fully relax, even at rest.

What to do: Try a quick daily body scan to check for tension from head to toe. Small steps like jaw stretches, shoulder rolls, or using a warm compress can help your body feel more supported and safe enough to soften.

12. You’re not moving enough

Physical activity helps regulate the nervous system, support circulation, and release physical energy. When we’re sedentary for long stretches, whether from work or fatigue, it can actually make the body feel more restless. That extra energy has nowhere to go, which can make falling into relaxation harder.

What to do: You don’t need intense workouts. Just a few minutes of gentle walking, stretching, or light chores can help shift your energy and create space for deeper calm, especially when done outdoors.

13. You haven’t learned what relaxation feels like yet

If you’ve lived in survival mode or high-stress conditions for a long time, true relaxation might feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. Calmness can seem unsafe if your body is used to being on guard. This isn’t your fault — it’s a protective pattern your nervous system has learned.

What to do: Start by introducing micro-moments of safety. Soft music, holding a warm mug, petting a dog, or taking a slow breath can help retrain your body to recognize calm as something safe, not threatening. From there, deeper relaxation becomes more accessible.

How CBD can support balance through the ECS

The body has a built-in regulatory system called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), a complex network of receptors found throughout the brain, immune system, and nervous system. 

The ECS plays a central role in helping the body maintain homeostasis, or internal balance, in response to everyday stressors.* It influences how we manage mood, discomfort, sleep, and more.

CBD (short for cannabidiol) is a naturally occurring compound found in the hemp plant. While CBD doesn’t bind directly to ECS receptors the way the body’s own endocannabinoids do, it may help support overall ECS function, which in turn can help the body respond to stress in a more balanced way.*

By interacting with this system, CBD may help promote a sense of calm, support emotional wellness, and assist the body in unwinding when it’s time to rest.* Many people incorporate hemp-derived wellness products like CBD into their routine to help their body and mind transition out of high-alert mode and into a more relaxed state.*

The bottom line

At Sunmed, we understand how difficult it can be to feel grounded when your world doesn’t slow down. 

Struggling to relax is often the body’s way of asking for support. Whether you’re carrying long-term stress, managing daily overwhelm, or simply navigating a high-stimulation world, your experience is valid, and there are gentle, accessible ways forward.

We believe wellness should be simple, approachable, and rooted in science. That’s why we’ve developed a full line of hemp-derived CBD products crafted to support your lifestyle and complement your daily rituals, whether you're winding down in the evening or re-centering in the middle of a hectic day.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small changes that feel doable. Support your body where it is, and when you're ready, we’re here with trusted, plant-based options that can be part of the journey.

*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Sources:

Understanding the stress response | Harvard Health

What Is the Relaxation Response? | Medical News Today

Nutrition and Stress: A Two-way Street | Nutrition

An introduction to the endogenous cannabinoid system | PMC